Ouch.

"How many times do youth groups go to things like this and get fired up and go back to the church, and it lasts about a week and a half? And yet, “Oh, it was a great move of God.” No, it wasn’t. If it doesn’t last, it wasn’t a great move of God. It was emotion."


This verbal smackdown is taken from a talk by Paul Washer called "The Shocking Youth Message". Listen to it on YouTube or get the transcript online, be changed by it. It's shocking but I wish it didn't shock us, I wish this message was the norm. 


If it doesn't last, it wasn't a great move of God. It was emotion.


Ouch. That hurts. 

I love tea.

I really do. However, there's something I love ever so slightly more than tea & that's Christian culture. It makes me laugh. It's hilarious; the quirks, the oddities & the things that we get away with that if it were in any other context would be downright nuts (flags, anointing with oil, etc).

So there's a man named Jon Acuff who seized this opportunity & went public with something we've known all along: Christians are weird. I guarantee you that Christians themselves will agree & those that don't, well they're the ones to be extra wary of. So satire + Christian culture + internet = www.stuffchristianslike.net. Obviously it's okay for him to say a lot of the stuff he does because he's a Christian himself. Clearly if he weren't, he'd be done for discrimination & bullying so as much as I hate double standards, they have clearly worked in his favour.

Anyway, one of my personal favourites is the Prayer Score Card. I sent this out to my Christian Union contingent today because 1) it's important to laugh, God likes it & 2) hopefully they might realise they're not the only one who evaluates their prayers according to the factors listed below.

Obviously it's ridiculous; there clearly is no such thing as prayer points in God's books. Sadly, that does not stop us Christians from thinking that maybe other people keep tally & we entirely forget the express remit to please God, not man. But that's something I could talk on for ages (I'm an expert at people-pleasing. Unreservedly, without doubt, not a good thing!) so without any further ado, here is the Prayer Score Guide according to Stuff Christians Like:

1. Someone grunts positively while you are praying = +1 point

2. Someone says “yes!” while you are praying = +2 points

3. Someone says “yes Jesus!” while you are praying = +3 points

4. Someone says “I’m not praying for that” after you finish = minus 3 points

5. Your wife or husband give you the “wrap it up” tap during your prayer = minus 2 points

6. Someone in your small group references your prayer later = +1 point

7. The pastor references your prayer later = +3 point

8. Someone shot blocks your prayer, praying the opposite of what you just said = minus 2 points

9. Someone puts their hand on your shoulder while you pray = +2 points

10. Someone attempts to put their hand over your mouth while you pray = minus 2 points

11. You say the word “just” too much while praying e.g. “Just hear us Lord, just hear our cries.” = minus 1 point per each usage

12. You over repeat God’s name as if He has forgotten it e.g. “God, Lord, Father, Alpha and Omega we pray to you Holy One, Messiah” = minus 1 point per each usage

13. You say “sweet baby Jesus” while praying = +1 point per each usage

14. You pray after the appointed “closer” has ended the prayer session = minus 5 points

15. You pray so long that some people start jingling their car keys as an indication of their desire to leave = minus 1 point

16. You quote an entire Bible verse in the middle of your prayer = + 1 point

17. The verse is from the King James Version = +2 points

18. After, you are asked to pray again in the future = +4 points

19. After, you are asked to consider exploring another religion instead of Christianity = 0 points

20. Your microphone, if on stage, is cut off during the prayer it is so long = minus 2 points

21. You find a way to reference the “Booty, God, Booty” post during your prayer = +10 points

22. The grumpy elder or deacon at your church tries to knock you out with a sleeper hold during your prayer as a way to get it to end = minus 2 points

23. People clap during your prayer = +3 points

24. Instead of praying, you do a recap of the sermon we’ve just heard = 0 points

25. You use fancy “God words” during your prayer that you don’t ever use in your other conversations = minus 2 points per each usage

Tonight, Matthew, I'm going to be a pessimist.

I consider myself to be an eternal optimist. I am convinced it's something I have inherited, which is surprising because my dad's pessimistic tendencies have been the source of much, much amusement in our family. Approximately four months ago, he famously declared to my sister "your rabbit is going to die soon" for no apparent reason other than the dog had been put down earlier that week. The fact that the rabbit is still alive today only adds to this hilarity & his embarrassment. Yet this example aside, both my parents possess a great degree of resilience & have, thankfully, passed this onto my sisters & me.

However, on this evening, I find myself defeatist about a situation I so desperately desire to be able to control. I shall explain. After having what the delicious Miss Dahl would refer to as a "selfish" day, consisting of the gym, dentist, reading & a garden centre, I settled down to do some planning for my role as prayer sec. Armed with books about prayer, my journal, a pen, paper & clipboard (staple item for secretaries & geographers), I nestled into the front room sofa. I would like you all to note, & convict myself as I do so, the ironic absence of my bible. Not cool. Anyway, the more I delved deeper into prayer & my own ambitions & desires for the Christian Union, the more I got frustrated. Frustrated that I can't make people care. Frustrated that I don't care enough. Frustrated that any plan I seem to be able to conjure, also seems to just be another evening or meeting for them to take out of their already busy weeks. THEN, I had a brainwave - prayer accountability. Yes, good one, Lucy! You can meet up with people, send them texts, encourage them to pray (& make sure you've got the most contagious prayer life, of course) Yes, this is it. This will single-handedly solve the apathy, bring about revival (& all of Swansea University will be saved) & I'll get a shout-out cause I started this all, right?

Wrong.

So, so wrong.

First & foremost, I made it about me. Secondly, I'm not convinced that official accountability is my remit & even if I made it so it was, does that mean it should be? Surely, ideally, this is where the Churches come in. So, Churches, where are you & what are you doing about the prayer life of your congregation? Answers on a postcard, please.

Victoria Beckham's designs.

These are beautiful! The lady has an eye for fashion, you cannot deny that. Just beautiful.

This is rare.

I am ill today & still in bed at 10:30am. Rare, essential & relaxing. My housemate, Dan, is about to bring me up a lemsip after I sent a pleading text to him. He lives on the bottom floor, directly opposite the kitchen, it only makes sense.

In starting this update, it's compulsory that I remark on just how quickly this year is going. "I can't believe it's February already" will suffice because I can't, actually, believe it is February. Christmas seemed to whizz pass, particularly the time that was spent with just mum, dad, Charlotte & Ellie. The snow meant my final weeks were fairly uneventful but there's something about the snow which meant that it could be forgiven for having caused the cancellation of my plans. When you live in a society which strives for efficiency & amongst people hypersensitive about time-saving, it is quite refreshing when something out of our control forces us to stop. Roads unsafe, plane schedules compromised, meetings averted, school cancelled & suddenly, people stopped. We had time. We had to walk places & we interacted because we were no longer speeding past one another at 30mph. The whole experience was quite profound & deeply impacting. Everyone affected by the weather had a nation wide excuse which, although legitimate to varying degrees, meant life as we know it was on hold & it was divine.

However, it's unrealistic to expect life could continue in that way & indeed, it didn't. I was back to Swansea on Sunday 10th January for an exam on the 11th and thus began two hetic weeks. That Sunday evening I was confronted with the full consequences of a life lived with Facebook & following a frank e-mail to my mum at 1am about my frustrations with the cycle of procrastination, I decided to delete my Facebook profile. Impulsive decisions are not always regrettable, as I first thought, because the day after, I found myself justifying the reasons why it was surely necessary to have a profile. Friends overseas, friends birthdays, general interest, ease of communication. The list is endless. Yet, in deleting my facebook, I was not discrediting it as such. I still believe it's highly effective in what it sets out to do, but for me, it was simply doing more harm than good. It made me nosey, shallow, impatient, lazy in my friendships & unproductive. Indeed, I would bet good money that this very blog would not have been written if I still had an account. Following the exam, I then had exactly a week to revise for an exam the following Monday, write an essay for the Tuesday & write another essay for the Wednesday. All which were completed with time to spare all because, I am convinced, of my decision to leave FB.

Since the final essay was handed in, I have been home twice (!) for various reasons, one being the wedding of Mike & Lauren Horswell. The day went without a glitch; Lauren looked breath-takingly beautiful, Louise did the decorations amazingly, Sarah's cake was a work of art & Stefanie sucessfully pulled off what will no doubt be the biggest surprise of 2010! She made her way from Indiana to Oxford, via Basingstoke, completely undetected, except by the few who were in the know. To say it was amazing to be amongst everyone again on such a joyous occasion is an understatement. I spent the full day basking in the glory of people who know me &, as Paula eloquently put it, although I didn't catch up with many, "just seeing them is enough". The time was short & sweet, as it will no doubt be always be with people who I could spend hours upon hours with.

So, it was back to Swansea which is where I find myself now as I write this. I am, as they say, "in the thick of it", with "it" being lectures, friends, required reading, Christian Union, Church &, when I get the chance, family. Commitments have grown considerably & on Thursday evening, after finding that I was voted in to the CU committee, was officially prayed in as prayer secretary. A role which I am so excited to start & really get to grips with, with the help of friends & prayer itself. Yet I do not allow myself to get too excited just yet, not until missions week is out the way in two weeks time. I have to stifle my thoughts surrounding prayer for fear that I might just mentally self-combust with excitement, apprehension & sheer desire. Whilst not wanting to wish missions week to be over, I cannot wait till I can "dream" again & just go nuts, filling my head with ideas & throwing them around with people. Bring on missions week & whatever comes after.

Well, this just about brings everyone up to speed, I believe. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! Much, much love.

xx

Mood Board.

I have learned that I am not in a particularly articulate mood. After approximately 10 attempts to start this blog, I have concluded to use single words instead. On their own. Independent. This is my verbal mood board:

Ages. Free. Music. London. Books. Tired. University. Preparation. Edit. Haiti. Food. Washing. Envy. Desire. Discontent. Car. Anticipation. Want. Want. Want.

Ever get the feeling you really need humbling? Ever get the feeling that you really want to be humbled? I have both, the latter is strongest.

Sorry this is fairly inconclusive & incomprehensible but I write for me, not really you (unless you're Stefanie Tarman, in which case I will write one soon to satisfy your craving!)

KBCTC 08/09

So I'm coming to the end of my year at King's Bible College & I can't quite believe it. I wanted  to write, for your sake, about the people in my year; their journeys, quirks, personalities, etc. It turns out that in doing it I've benefitted hugely & think I've enjoyed writing it more than you'll enjoy reading it. Well, maybe that's the beauty of blogging?

Hannah - I'm so grateful for the privilege of living with this little lady. She's a servant in many ways, always lends an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on. Someone who is full of truth & constantly considers others better than herself, God's got huge plans for her.

Louise - Her life is a complete expression of God's beauty. A woman whose sensitivity is held in perfect balance with strength & courage. She has an approachability that isn't often be found in people. I LOVE watching her allow God to change her. She has a gorgeous laugh.

Rachel - I love just being in Rachel's company. Without her even realising it, she's a teacher & I've learnt so much from her already. She's incredibly insightful, constantly causes me to re-evaluate & reconsider how I view something which I value so much. Rachel has the most beautiful & reassuring smile.

Helen - I love this lady! I feel so honoured to witness the journey she's been on. Warmth & joy emanates from her. She's very strong & steady but in no way hard or tough (unless you fight her!) She's an absolute delight to me & others constantly. She makes an impact on people she meets, always leaving them better off when she first met them.

Sarah F - She talks, people listen. Words fail me right now to describe her. God's teaching her so much & I'm learning just from watching it. She's a straight talker who speaks God's wisdom into situations without her realising she's even doing it. There's an accessibility & inclusivity about her which is going to be used SO powerfully. Oh, & her husband is going to be an amazing man. 

Meg - I was drawn to Meg from day one. She has such a big heart & speaks her mind without offending. Extremely gifted but also very humble. I love being a part of the journey that she's on. She's got the best intentions in every situation, constantly wanting to be a better person & reflect Christ. People love to be around her & her absence is noticeable when she's not around. She gives & demands honesty in all situations.

Zoe - I really, really appreciate Zoe. I hope she knows just how much I respect her. She exudes goodness, there is such a strength & solidarity about her which I wholeheartedly admire. A very humble lady, full of peace which impacts me whenever we're together. 

Lifi - Absolutely amazing woman. Lifi is perhaps one of the most genuine & authentic people I know. A gifted communicator & very engaging, I always feel understood whenever we talk. Ambitious & driven. She has a such an awesome laugh & it's a privilege to know her. I really value the time I get to spend with her.

Sarah W - Lovely, lovely, lovely. Someone who's been blessed with a heart for people. An inspiration to me in the way that she has committed herself to this year. Joyful, positive & an encourager for people. A woman who doesn't need words to communicate God's love to people.

Stef - I absolutely love Stef. She's unassuming & unpretending. Everyone who is in her company is immediately at ease. She's a calming presence & a committed friend. I notice when she's not around & miss her when I haven't had any time with her in a while. There's a dependability & reliability which she has brought to the community & which she offers to her friends.

Paula - Her life has been very different to all the people in the year yet everyone connects with her in an instant. Paula is a rock. As a relatively new Christian, she's got a teachable heart which I desire for myself. Now she's in Christ, she's a force to be reckoned with.

Dani - There's no sacred/secular divide for Dani. You cannot stop her from running into the presence of God. Wherever she is she'll seek God with all her heart & find him. A distributor of mercy & compassion, she's a worshipper through & through.

Beverly - An encourager who has undergone one of the largest transformations this year. She's developed a depth & understanding which is serving her well already. Secure & proud of her identity, both spiritual (as a child of God) and physical (as a Ghanaian). She prays fierce prayers & inspired me to be more vocal in lectures.

Hannah E - Ah, my North Africa team leader! Hannah has an inner strength which I'm constantly drawn to & has helped me numerous times. She's a teacher but doesn't confine that gift to a classroom of children. She has the ability to take something which is otherwise daunting or complex & make it accessible to people. I admire Hannah in many, many ways. 

Jenny - You will always find Jenny serving within some capacity. This year has been a year of her trading ashes in for beauty, something which I feel honoured to have observed. She's someone who defies logic in the sense that, after all she's been through, one would not expect to be as loving, as caring and as joyful (!) as she is. God's going to use that to advance His kingdom. She worships God in every season.

Melody - I can never have too much of Melody's company. Lives in the fullness of God's love for her & she's a living testimony to the transformational power of Christ. A new creation with a contagious joy. She will succeed in everything she puts her hand to. 

Mike G - An old friend with an admirable ability to start a conversation with just about anybody. Very sharp & bright young man with an eagerness to do what God desires. He's matured incredibly over the past year but definitely hasn't lost his cheekiness. I look forward to what God's got in store for him.

Jon M - Have loved getting to know Jon over the year. An intelligent man who's very insightful & often considers things that other people overlook. He shone particularly during our time in North Africa where he immersed himself into the culture & really loved the people. He's also hilarious.

Mike H - Mike's been a pillar of the community. As a great conversationalist, he has the ability to sift through what people say; keeping what's worth keeping & getting rid of the rest. A support for many people within the year & loyal as a dog. 

Ben - My brother from another mother who somehow manages to get me out of whatever mood I'm in. A trustworthy, faithful friend who is just full to the brim of good intentions. Ben is someone who wrestles with God meaning he's characterised by integrity. As someone who loves to laugh & make people laugh, he will redeem people's view of Christians. 

Jon K - A cheeky, Godly leader who has more influence than he realises, particularly among young guys. Jon is bold & courageous with a strong desire to do what's right. Over the year, he has developed a new depth which, now coupled with his strong personality, is going to draw people to him & closer to God.

David - David has a great balance of warmth & sensitivity with power & strength. I've got a lot of time for him & consider him someone with great amounts of potential. His ability to tell stories to just about anyone he meets (& make it enjoyable) is something God's deliberately put in him for His glory.

Matty - Our only Northern guy who's a gifted worship leader & just loves Jesus & who's admirably unconcerned by what other people think. He's hilariously funny & knows it. Wins favour with everybody he meets. Another one who I look forward to what God's got in store for them.

Joe E - Absolute living legend. A great leader who imparts faith & supportive follower who facilitates opportunities for others. He has been consistent & dependable from day one, another pillar within the community. Never misses an opportunity to grow & learn something new.

Jon L - The father figure of the year group & a great one at that. A very funny man who has many, many intelligent points/questions. Sees the good in every situation which causes others to do the same. Has weathered many storms & has many stories of God's faithfulness. 

Simon Cox - A man of great physical strength but with an acute spiritual sensitivity. Constantly open to God changing & moulding him how He wants. Leads people whilst not forgetting the individual. Takes a keen interest in other people & their welfare. I look forward to seeing where God takes him & his wife.

Man, I'm going to miss them.